Last year, as I approached my 50th birthday, I decided it was time to change my life.
I’m a baby nerd. I’m not a full-blown nerd. I don’t know all the terminology. ? I just like nerd things.
So naturally, I decided my life changes weren’t going to be called changes.
They were upgrades.
And at 50, Amy 5.0 went live.
At first, the upgrades seemed pretty straightforward. I had weight-loss surgery in July. I changed the way I ate. I started changing the way I moved my body. I worked on changing the way I thought.
But Amy 5.0 became something much bigger than I ever expected.
I chose a different future.
Birthdays have always been a time of reflection for me.
What did I accomplish this year? What didn’t I do? Where am I going? Am I happy with the life I’m living?
And approaching 50 at almost 350 pounds, I couldn’t ignore something that scared me.
I could see my family’s history unraveling in front of me.
Both of my grandmothers died in their early 50s. My mom died in her 50s.
I know what it’s like to need your mom and not have her here.
And I know a kind of loss no mother should ever have to know. My oldest daughter, Cassandra, died at only 31.
I couldn’t change any of that.
But I could decide what I was going to do with the life I still had.
My family still needs me.
And I decided I wasn’t done.
I decided I would live to be 84 years old.
Why 84?
Because instead of looking to the matriarchs whose lives ended far too soon, I decided to look to my namesake.
Aunt Amy
My Aunt Amy was born in 1902.
She was premature, and her parents were told she probably wouldn’t survive.
She did.
She grew up. She had a son. She lived an entire life.
And that tiny premature baby whom everyone thought wouldn’t make it lived well into her 80s and outlived almost everyone in her family.
That’s me, Amy.
Aunt Amy always called me “my sweet Amy.”
And she told me that my name meant beloved.
I don’t think I fully understood how much that meant until now.
Because when I look at what Amy 5.0 really accomplished, I realize this past year hasn’t been about becoming someone new.
It’s been about finding my way back to the person I was underneath everything that happened to me.
Returning to my core self.
Returning to Amy.
Returning to beloved.
And wow, did Amy 5.0 come with some upgrades.
A year ago, I was working a miserable entry-level job and driving 40 minutes each way to get there.
If you had told that Amy that one year later she would own a marketing agency—and that the business would grow enough that she’d actually need to hire someone to help her—I don’t know that she would have believed you.
But here I am.
And there’s another part of this story that matters.
Last year, I started listening to someone who talked about up-spiraling your life.
Instead of allowing one bad thing to lead to another bad thing and another, what happens when one positive choice leads to another?
I started applying that philosophy.
One little upgrade.
Then another.
Then another.
And something started happening.
My world changed because the way I looked at my world was changing.
That opened me up to one of the biggest Amy 5.0 upgrades of all.
I finally talked to Lora.
My husband had been begging me for months to talk to her.
In October, I finally did.
Lora shared so much of that same positive mentality I’d been learning about. We talked about my work history, my education and all these pieces of my life that, to me, didn’t necessarily add up to anything.
She saw something I couldn’t see yet.
She saw a path.
I signed up for her class that day. (You can check out her program https://www.fickettfinancialcoaching.com/)
In December, I quit my job.
And today, I own a growing marketing agency.
Sometimes I think about how easily I could have said no to that conversation.
One conversation.
One yes.
One more upgrade.
And suddenly there was a door where I hadn’t even realized a door existed.
The biggest upgrade wasn’t my career.
It wasn’t even my body.
It was my confidence.
Those of you who know me and know my story know that I’ve had a hard life.
Some of it was my own doing.
A lot of it wasn’t.
And somewhere along the way, that life chipped away at the person I knew I could be.
It took my confidence.
For a long time, I let it.
But over this past year, I got it back.
And it’s here to stay.
I promise myself I will never lose it again.
And I always keep my promises.
So today, Amy 5.1 goes live.
I can hardly believe the difference between the woman writing this and the woman who started Amy 5.0 one year ago.
I’m happier than I remember being in a very long time.
I’m healthier.
I’m confident.
And for the first time in a long time, when I think about my future, I’m genuinely excited to meet the woman waiting there.
I can already see some of her.
She’s physically stronger.
In fact, Amy 5.1 has one very specific physical goal.
ONE. FREAKING. PULL-UP.
?
I’ve never been able to do one.
Ever.
I’ve NEVER had upper-body strength.
I don’t need ten. I don’t need twenty.
I want one.
I want to pull myself up once and know that at 51 years old, I became physically capable of doing something I couldn’t do at 20, 30, 40 or 50.
But I don’t just want a stronger body.
Amy 5.1 is going to be mentally stronger, too.
I’m going to keep up-spiraling.
I’m going to keep growing my business.
I’m going to keep taking chances.
I’m going to keep choosing people who add something positive to my life.
I’m going to keep learning.
I’m going to keep tweaking the system.
Because, of course, no major upgrade ships without a few patches. ?
There will be Amy 5.1.1, 5.1.2, 5.1.3…
Little upgrades throughout the year.
Happier.
Healthier.
Stronger.
More confident.
But underneath all those upgrades, I think I’ve finally figured out what this journey is really about.
I’m not trying to create some perfect new version of myself.
I’m returning to my core self.
The Amy that hardship buried for a while.
The Amy who believes in herself.
The Amy who keeps her promises.
The Amy who wants to be here for her family.
The Amy who knows she is worthy of building a life she loves.
Aunt Amy’s sweet Amy.
Beloved.
So here’s to 51.
Here’s to Amy 5.1.
Here’s to one freaking pull-up.
Here’s to every mini-upgrade coming my way.
And here’s to the biggest goal of them all:
Amy 8.4.
I’m coming for you. ??
